non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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