they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
