ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
