I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
