No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
