It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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