how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Did you pee in the oven last night??
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