We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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