Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
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