I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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