i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
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