I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize