I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
