just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
