now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
