Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
