So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize