No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
