You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Randomize
