i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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