life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
