No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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