his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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