her vagine was all disorganized.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
