He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
