Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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