i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
