genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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