I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
