No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
