Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
