I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
