i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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