I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
