I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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