he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
