I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Randomize
