hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize