if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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