Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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