i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
