margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
