'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize