Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Randomize
