So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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