just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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