I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
