in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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