honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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