I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
