we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Randomize
