As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
