I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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