Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Randomize
