you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I just had sex on a roof
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
