i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Randomize
