Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
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I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
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