I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize