I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
