I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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