New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Randomize
