In America we eat man semen.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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