Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
